You would have thought I was about to meet baby Jesus as nervous as I was on my flight. All I could think was “what if he doesn’t like me?”–wait… I’m so rude. Hey, guys! How are you? (Really, tell me in the comments.) My, have I been busy. Now that my 187th draft of the Employee Handbook has been approved and distributed, I’m finally blogging in real-time. It’s been almost a month since I’ve taken my fourth and last summer trip. Destination: Texas! Why didn’t anyone tell me I was crazy for going on four trips… four weeks in a row! I had the best summer ever, but I was completely burned out after Maryland. I didn’t miss any workdays in between trips either (besides the 2 weekdays in Florida) and I was managing my business development course every Tuesday & Thursday evening as well. The thought of fat baby legs and neck folds within my reach were the only things that kept me trekking.
Carmelo is the son of my high school sweetheart, Jessica, and her husband, Jermaine; this kid hit the lottery. Well duh, he has future-Oprah for a godmother and his blood type is Detroit-Bronx-engineering-retail-manager positive, and he’s Afro-Latino just like his Madrina. That’s the name for godmother that we decided on. Well, I actually voted for Beyoncé and didn’t get any support *rolls eyes*, so Madrina it was. It sounded the most festive of the names I Googled.
Lost ones: Carmelo is my second godchild. On June 1st of this year my goddaughter, Autumn, was stillborn. Losing Autumn was a gruesome and life-changing experience. Paul’s cousin, Kimberly, called me screaming from the hospital and I don’t even remember getting dressed or the hour-long drive from the Bronx to Brooklyn. I held her hands and rubbed her back all night alongside her family; she still had to deliver her lost baby. I will spare you all the details, but that was the night that made me seriously question my belief in God.
I’m on my way to meet up with Kimberly (aka Kymmee) now for our ‘burger & apple juice’ date. I don’t remember how our tradition started, but for years we’ve met up in Herald Square for burgers & apple juice, lol. We catch up on each other’s lives and then act a fool in make-up and accessory stores. I’m switching it up today. We’re going to hit the new Chick-fil-A that just opened in midtown and then we’re going to a BYOB & paint class I found online.
The jig is up: Today is also the day I tell Kymmee that I have another godchild. I somehow feel as though I’m betraying Kymmee and Autumn and I’ve put off the news. I know she’ll be happy for me, but she’s going through so much that I don’t want her to feel like I’m replacing Autumn. Especially since Kymmee has seen me “curve mad babies” (as she says, lol) when several friends have offered me the role. The honor being presented to me when it did was a complete coincidence. I was asked to be Carmelo’s godmother before he was even conceived and I accepted then, but some girl-trouble between Jessica and I stole the opportunity from me. *Fast forward a year and half* the honor presented itself again. I couldn’t let all this love I have to give go to waste just because his mom was a doo-doo-head head once upon a time. Carmelo is amazing and I’ve been his family since I was 13 years old. I’m what’s best for Carmelo and he’s what’s best for me; and as of today he’s no longer my ‘side baby’, lol.
I had a paralyzing headache most of my time in Texas, but I got to experience many faces and joys of Baby CLW. When Carmelo is awake (which is always), he’s so lively and inquisitive. I don’t know how the Wilsons manage their demanding careers, a huge new home, and baby Einstein, but their teamwork was really inspiring. Jessica started her own blog last week called GoingForGor-Jess; where she’ll give a behind the scenes account of their ‘perfect’ lives and her fitness journey. I’m looking forward to learning about balancing a career, family, and health through her journey because I don’t know if I’m cut out for this parenting-thing full-time. I was able to tune Carmelo out pretty easily during my naps, lol. Please pray that my mothering-instincts kick in because being that sick is just not an option when I have my own.
I’ll be back in Texas in December for Carmelo’s gentlemen-themed 1st birthday party. In the meantime, I need to mail him some Yankees memorabilia so he grows up knowing what a real baseball team is. That house is huge enough to put all that Detroit Tigers stuff somewhere deep and dark. The Yankees are part of New York religion and I take this godparent responsibility super seriously.
~1st Noëlle, The Comma Queen.